Self help books. Because it’s cheaper than your shrink and you’re done with the latest Harry Potter. To be honest, I mostly read this kind of books. Novels are usually boring to me, unless they make a feature out of them. But in that case, I’ll watch the movie on Netflix and spare myself a few hours.
So what was so interesting in Unfu*k Yourself that I felt compelled to write a summary & review about it? I could have used my precious time to do something way more useful. Like buying a ginger latte matcha and sip it while scrolling endlessly my Instagram feed.
- I can do both;
- This book has a very peculiar flavor among the self help books. It actually gives you some grit. Some chutzpah as my grandmother would say.
How does M. Bishop pull it off? Simply put, he talks to you a bit nasty. Like a good older brother that would want your best by slapping you in the face. Like Denzel Washington had he been your football coach.
You see, Gary doesn’t give a damn – oh excuse my language Gary, I meant a fuck – about how you feel and your inner battles. He doesn’t expect you to feel complete, whole, and ready to take action. He wants you to act now. From action comes happiness. Do, your thoughts shall follow.
Unlike most self help books that help you discover your inner drive to get things done, Gary J. Bishop offers an interesting approach. To him, it doesn’t matter if you’re always in the right mood and mindset to get your shit together, you just have to do it. Simple.
I know, I write like a pig that writes like a dog. So let present you with a proper translation of myself.
First, Gary differentiates assertive self-talk and narrative self-talk or affirmation.
To sum it up:
I am > I will
Don’t tell yourself: You’re not going to be great, you are great. You will not be brave, you are brave. This slight tweak in your inner-talk makes a great impact on your self perception. Or so the nerds say.
Now let’s get into the assertions that Gary wants you to comprehend and use.
I am willinG
What are you willing to do above anything? What would you make sacrifices for? Also, it can be what you are unwilling to do. The author invites you to pro-actively think about what you want – instead of pursuing dreams that are not yours. Let’s not wait a lifetime to figure out that we wasted it. Take control, be the captain of your own ship.
I am wired to win
You always win at the game you’re playing. Stuck in a shitty relationship? You seem to only mate with this kind of boy / girl. Overwhelmed by to many tasks at work? Maybe you’re winning at the game of not being able to say no. Whatever it is, you always have a choice to change the game.
You limit yourself to the reality you choose.
To succeed, you’d have to prove those firmly held [negative] beliefs WRONG.
Just stop doing what you want to stop winning at.
I got this
Real life is more valuable than the narrative you have about it. Always put things into perspective. There is a solution to everything.
I Embrace the uncertainty
You strive for certainty because of evolutionary reasons: the need to be safe. Today, this ancient survival instinct can have a negative effect.
The desire for safety stands against every great & noble enterprise.
The worst decision is not to make one. No decision, no experience, no learning.
The lack of decisions & actions leads to the worst regrets in life. Action trumps all.
Certainty does not exist.
If you want to win, you have to be willing to be let others judge you.
I am not my thoughts; I am what I do
Conquer fear by doing. Start now.
If you want to improve, be content to be thought foolish & stupid. – Epictetus
There is no destination. There is only exploration.
Don’t fight your thoughts. Who cares about your thoughts? Focus on your actions. You don’t have to feel like it to do it. That is the only way to happiness.
We become what we do.
I am relentless
Take what you want out of life. It will be painful, but nothing worth having comes easy.
Be as unstoppable as this guy.
Stay focused. Destroy obstacles one after the other.
I expect nothing & accept everything
Disappointment is unmet expectation.
The trick is to accept reality as it comes, and deal with it without emotional bias. Love what you already have.
Be in control of your emotional state. Dispute your beliefs, dispute how you interpret things. Accept, and act. Own your reactions.